Bi-Coastal Confusion

Today I received a second question through the blog.  It reads:

Dear Disaster, what’s your take on the men of San Francisco vs NYC?

Dear Bi (Coastal),

Thank you for the question. As it turns out I have spent much time pondering this.  I’m not really in the NYC dating scene  but I do watch a lot of movies and TV so I am somewhat of an expert. The biggest difference I see is that NYC men are conquistadors. They want models, each one younger than the one before. They will string you along for what seems like forever but in reality is only six seasons. You will try to forget them and even almost settle for a famous ex-ballet dancer. In the end though, it all works out. Your relationship just needs to hit the silver screen first, and then, approximately 90 minutes into it, you’ll make up.

I’ve created an algorithm for New York men which can be summarized by the following graph:

San Francisco, however, is an entirely different situation.  San Francisco is a city of self-improvement, and somewhere in this mental marinade, you wind up with some very downward dogs.  Tricky thing is, these guys look like the real thing. They make their own hummus.  They get up early to surf.  They wear ironic t-shirts that match their converse.  And they are providers—in case of an earthquake they keep battery-powered latte makers in their bike room. But don’t be deceived. There’s no room for you in this picture.  Just when you think they’re gonna explore your Twin Peaks, there’s a yoga retreat.   You see,  they’re not gay… they’re just Bay.

I have done some mathematical calculations on this as well:

I hope this answers your question.

With love from coast to coast,

Disaster

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