The Cinco de Mayo Initiative

Dear DoH,

I have dated a lot. I have learned several key lessons from these dates. They are:
1) Tequila shot prior to the date is great. Starting the date doing a tequila shot with your date is better
2) Women are more fun when they are drunk (prob true for men too)
3) Drinking is good. Drinking plus some kind of activity is better.
4) if you don’t eat food, you get drunk quicker
Would you agree or disagree with these as general guidelines for a successful first date?  Any recommendations?

sincerely
Roses and Thorns

Dear Lush,

Excuse me while I get personal, but I have to ask. Have we been out before?

I had a boyfriend who frequently showed up to date night drunk. I have no doubt he thought that was fun.  Someone should have asked his date.

In my experience, someone who chooses to drink before the date is often hiding something.  Like alcoholism.

Granted, it’s true that your date may be more fun when she is drunk. But so was my high school chemistry teacher.  And just because it’s fun, doesn’t make it safe.

We all know that alcohol begets bad decisions.  (Need I remind you of the Great Houdini?) It starts with a simple tequila shot, and then next thing you know the bar starts to spin and in a state of great euphoria your date shouts, “LET’S GO BURN OUR CARS!”

It’s a slippery slope.

Your observation that if you don’t eat you get drunk quicker is also correct. Similarly, gravity makes things fall to the earth, red and blue makes purple, and Jesse James will always sleep with porn stars. It’s just science.

But I ask you, have you ever stopped to think about the tragic consequences that result from not feeding your date?  She will experience horrible crankiness, intolerable hangovers and baggy skinny-jeans.  That’s right. Baggy skinny-jeans.

At any given moment there are thousands of women being fed tequila and Corona for dinner. What if this was your friend, your sister, or your neighbor?   Could you sit back and watch it happen, let alone continue to take part? I don’t think so.

I know I can’t. That’s why I’ve decided to do something about it.  As part of my Cinco de Mayo Initiative, for the mere price of a tequila shot a day, you can soon donate to feedthedates.org and help ensure that not another single woman goes hungry on a first date again.  And if you must continue to get your dates wasted, that’s even more reason to contribute to the snack fund.  Just think of it like carbon off-sets.

Hung overly yours,
DoH

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