Remember your New Year’s Resolution? Of course you don’t. There’s a statistic that says by February 1, only 64 percent of people who make resolutions are still able to keep them. That means that by tomorrow 36 percent of you are still smoking, buttering your saltines and leaving angry messages on your ex’s voicemail. Who cares? Resolutions are for quitters, anyway.
As for me, I’d rather have the discipline to control myself year-round. I abide to a very strict code of internal conduct: I never sleep with strangers (fortunately, I know so many people!), I only binge when Oreos are on sale, and I only smoke when I am sad, happy, angry, disappointed, hungry, hungover or drunk.
But even I’m not immune to the whole New Year’s Resolution hype. A couple of years ago I resolved to join a gym, only to get bucked by a StairMaster. Last year I resolved to fall in love, get married and have three kids with adorable lisps. Surprisingly, this is not as easy as it appears.
So this year, on December 31, 2010 I resolved to take an entirely different approach: after so much disaster philosophizing, I have decided to truly become the Disaster I see in this world. My action plan involved three very simple steps:
1. quit job
2. pack backpack
3. become a hobo
I’m proud to announce that one month later on Jan 31, I have faithfully kept my resolution. I write to you from Mexico City where I’m just beginning to embark on an International Disaster of epic proportions. I promise, I shall keep you updated.
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