Valentine’s Day is like New Years: a lot of hype for nothing. Ultimately, you just wind up alone at midnight, puking in the bathroom.
And the worst part? My birthday and Valentine’s Day are a mere four days apart. This means that I’ve lived a bipolar life: when I’m dating someone, there are amazing highs–presents, cards, and dinners that don’t involve a drive-thru menu. But when I’m not, I enjoy a Lean Cuisine in an echo chamber of self doubt. The second week in February I cover the mirrors, don black armbands, and go into mourning for all my unborn children.
But two years ago, I thought I was having the best Valentine’s Day ever. I had just moved in with my boyfriend. We were living together! I was officially taken, and therefore, one could only assume, not a disaster. Someone had chosen me to share their bathroom sink with, and as anyone knows, this goes really far in the self-worth department.
And not only that, my boyfriend bought me a trip to Mexico for my 30th birthday. Now you should know that while I had never been to Mexico, it had always been my dream. We’d talked about a Journey South since the day we met, five years earlier.
Unfortunately, despite my Valentine’s Day bliss, that trip would never happen. See, this was also the year that swine flu hit, and the 5 o’clock news warned everyone that this epidemic ravished those afflicted with shortness of breath, nausea, migraines and unusual tiredness. But it turns out it wasn’t the swine flu my live-in boyfriend was worried about. He didn’t want to go because only three weeks after I had moved in, he had already checked out, moved on, and — I would soon find out — set his sights sights on someone else.
Despite the fact that my doctor insisted I did not have the swine flu, my flu-like symptoms persisted for the months that followed.
So when it came time to plan my solojourn, Mexico was a strategic first stop. This year Valentine’s Day would not simply be a holiday I would need to muster through, but one I would celebrate. And this February 14th I find myself in one of the most magical places I have ever visited, deep in self-seduction. I am falling in love with me, and let me just tell you, I’m kind of a great date.
Today, I took myself to breakfast where I enjoyed fresh fruit and yogurt under a palm tree. I laughed at all my jokes, and even held the door for myself. Then I surfed for two hours, walked the beach by myself, and in the afternoon when I arrived back at my private beach-side bungalow, I found myself laughing out loud … twice! I thought the only people who laughed at themselves were crazy people on the El train. Turns out, crazy people on the El must also be very, very happy.
Tonight I’m headed to a tiny karaoke cowboy restaurant raved about by locals, and the only influenza I plan to see during my time in Mexico is the boat I chartered for my sunrise fishing and snorkeling tour tomorrow:
So this is what they mean by Happy Valentine’s Day.
Subscribe Via Email
Become A Fan
- I Heart You Rachel Dratch, From Your BFF, Disaster
- The Genius
- This Is The Pits
- The Write-Off
- A Return to Roots
- One Glove, One Heart
- I’m a Fraunt!
- Sugar Coated
- How to Shake a Stage Five Drunk
- A Disaster’s Guide to Fixin’ Shit
- Sea Biscuits
- Guess Who’s Not Coming to Dinner?
- Finally, A Fairytale I can Believe In
- High San Francisco!
- Scent of A Woman
- RT @jgolden3: Sometimes I love the people I work with... other times I hate them. Now is the latter... http://t.co/gxf60mC7 #, 2012/05/03
- The daily verbatim: "Im just looking for a understanding women. I work with Computers. Im stable and well Ground.... http://t.co/q1IWE00l #, 2012/05/03
- @heidiskinner Absolutely! Do not take this lightly. It's the role of a lifetime. #Disasterella #, 2012/05/03
- @gloss48 so good talking to you yesterday. I can't wait to get glamorous. #, 2012/05/03
- @heidiskinner yes! You can be my Disaster Fairy Godmother. It will be easy. I already have the shoes! #, 2012/05/03