Here’s a great date idea: It’s Saturday, it’s a beautiful fall day in Chicago, so let’s go sailing! I’ll wear my most favorite Patagonia jacket. You can wear your best Nantucket Reds. We’ll go meet at Belmont Harbor and cruise around on the lake and talk about things that we don’t know anything about, like who has the right of way, and Tibet.
It will be so romantic. We’ll just be outdoorsy and organic. I’ll bring sandwiches on wholewheat bread from the farmer’s market, and we’ll eat them under sail in open water. Can you think of a better day? ME EITHER!
Wow, it’s kind of windy out here, eh? I didn’t think that it would be so choppy. Well, good thing you know how to sail! You don’t mind if I lie down on this bench while you man the ship, do you? I had a couple of glasses of wine last night, and I think maybe I should just take it easy for a second. You can handle that jib stuff on your own, right? Great. You’re such a good sailor!
Oh, no, I’m fine. I just drool a lot on boats.
You know what? I think I’m going to sit up, so I can keep an eye on the “land ahoy, matey!” Yeah, I know I do great pirate voice. Isn’t this fun?!
What do you mean what am I doing? Apparently Lake Michigan is just a humongous vomitorium. What’s that? You think I should have told you I get seasick before we left? I would have, but I didn’t think you were gonna rent the goddamn S.S. Yack n’ Tack… Okay, you need to stop talking, I think I’m gonna…
I don’t care if there’s crusty puke on my chin. A seagull will get it when I finish dying.
Are we back in the marina?! Nice! I must have fallen asleep for a bit.
Ah, terra firma! Watch your step getting off– here, hand me the sandwiches. What a day! Don’t you just love sailing? We have to do this again. Call you tomorrow?
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