No matter how you shake the snow globe, winter is problematic for single people. Cold weather not only signals the start of social hibernation, it also means it’s time to bundle up. Now, as a long-time resident of cold weather climates, I was forced to overcome my vanity long ago. From the months of October to April, I walk around like a snow hobo (or as I like to call it, “snobo”). If you’re looking for me, I’ll be the one wearing the neckwarmer, scarves, ear muffs, hat and multiple pairs of long johns. And while I may look like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, padding my curves is not even my biggest concern with the Bundle Up.
See, every time I go for a run along the lake I see so many hot guys walking their dogs, running, or biking. One of these days I will offer up a coy left hand wave and they’ll notice my untethered bling finger, start up a conversation, and the next thing you know, we’ll be splitting protein shakes and pushing a double-wide stroller down the bike path. It’s really just a matter of time.
But when temperatures start dropping, that daydream is put on pause. Why? Because it’s glove season: now there is no way to know who’s single and who’s not.
That’s why I came up with a plan. Fear not Disasters! Here’s an easy guide to winterizing your game:
1. Start with a pair of gloves. (I like to go with black–it makes my hands look so skinny!)
2. Simply cut the ring finger off of the left hand. Note: Kitchen scissors will work fine for this.
3. Test drive the look in the mirror, to ensure you have optimal ring finger exposure.
And voila! Three easy steps to liberating your ring finger. You’re ready to hit the trails. Go get ‘em, Snobos.
