I Heart You Rachel Dratch, From Your BFF, Disaster
Hey Rachie!
First I just wanted to say “wassup girl!” It was soooo good to see you this weekend at The Second City. I thought we might get to hang out after your reading but I totally get you’re busy. That’s why I thought I’d just wait outside the theater until the end of the show to see where you went. I even waited until the security guard locked the building. It’s too bad, Rach, because I made a handshake for us, and you’re totally going to love it. It ends with us making faces like Debbie Downer!
Anyway, I just wanted to thank you again for signing my copy of your new book. I know you tried to write “Enjoy the book!” but I think I made you nervous, because sometimes when I get excited I forget to blink. Maybe that’s why it looks like you wrote “Crazy the look!” No worries though–I totally know what you meant.

And it goes without saying that your book is like, totally awesome. My favorite part is the way it smells. Did you have to request that special? So smart! I threw out my Febreze–now, when I put on my shirt from the day before, I just rub the book under my pits and I’m good to go. I call it “La Livre de Raquel.”
Needless to say, this book has like totally changed my life. I’d like to think I made that clear during the Q/A session. Thanks again for answering fourteen of my questions. Except, I still don’t know why you wouldn’t answer me when I asked for your mailing address. I took like a million photos of you during the reading, and I already turned them into a kick-ass scrapbook for us. Thanks to Photoshop we’re in Mexico in all of them drinking Skinny Girl Margaritas, and instead of reading reading Girl Walks into a Bar, we’re reading US Weekly and counting Matthew McConaughey’s abs. Honestly, Rachie, it’s so us!
Anyway, you can just message me your address when you accept my Facebook friend request, and I’ll send it to you when I send you your half of our Best Friends necklace.
Hugs from your Number 1 Fan!
Disaster
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Mindi Rench
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